Rough First Draft: Research Paper #2

Dimitrios Tsoukalas
English 101.0800
Miss Bogacka
December 5 2010

Men have been sharing homosocial bonds since the beginning of man. It’s not uncommon
to hear two men going out to spend the day fishing or watch the football game together. This
bonding is common in our society and we consider it normal. But homosocial bonds don’t only
play the role of strengthening friendship between two men, but at the same time, it shapes their
masculinity and gives them the confidence to go after a woman. Since their masculinity is
ensured by bonding with another man, heterosexual bonds become much more easier to pursue.
Homosocial bonds between men is what creates and strengthens men’s heterosexual bonds.
Young men, who do not have a confident grasp on their masculinity yet, in order to prove
themselves, partake in a ritual called the girl hunt. This ritual involves all the men in their group
to try to get as many numbers from woman as possible in a social environment, such as a bar.
While the whole purpose of this may be to get the number of the women, half the time the whole
process isn’t even about the numbers. But rather to prove to themselves and their group that by getting these phone numbers they’re masculine. By sharing these homosocial bonds, men
become more confident, which results in better heterosexual bonds with this confidence. The
whole practice of wingmen during the girl hunt, the idea that a few of your friends are going to
help you get a girl, it’s an extreme boost to your masculinity. As well as strengthening the
homosocial bonds between them.
Men through the media are raised to believe differently though when it comes to
heterosocial bonds. A man who has a lot of homosocial bonds is considered masculine, while a man with a lot of heterosocial is considered to be on the boundary of homosexual. Also, in the
media’s definition of a real man, being homophobic is also considered masculine. The medias
definition of a man plays a big role on a few young men who have no homosocial bonds to
determine their own masculinity. Instead they attempt to take the medias masculinity which in
return is empty because it offers them no confidence. Masculinity without confidence is
pointless, because it is confidence that makes your masculinity. Homosocial bonds shape
confidence which is the key to the masculinity of a man as well as the key to
their heterosexual bonds which come later.
A man without confidence or the right sense of masculinity can’t become a right man,
example being Andy Stitzer from the 40 Year Old Virgin. This is a man who had his confidence
destroyed as a youth, but at the age of 40, told his friends about his problem and they all offered
to help. Through the homosocial bonds of these men trying to help a friend, Andy Stitzer turned
from a sexless man into a confident masculine man he was supposed to be. The homosocial
bonds by these men are what changed him, they boosted his confidence up to the part where they made him ask the woman out, start dating her, and finally, become sexual with her. Even a man who had reached the age of 40 and was not seen a man yet was able to regain his confidence and obtain his masculinity. Homosocial bonds can help any men’s masculinity. It also depends on
who the homosocial bonds are formed with and the person himself.
Masculinity in young men is unstable, and can be changed in many ways, though with the
help of homosocial bonds, a man confidence will rise, affecting his masculinity as well as his
heterosexual relationships, because just they fall along the same lines. If someone is a masculine
man, they’re confident about themselves. And once a man is confident, nothing can stop them.





Flood, Micheal. "Men, Sex and Mateship: How homosociality shapes men's heterosexual relations".. Feminisms: An international Women's and Gender Studies Conference. University of Queensland. 12-16 July

The 40 Year old Virgin Dir. Judd Apatow Pref. Steve Carell, Catherine Keener, Paul Rudd. Universal Pictures 2005.

Grazian, David. "The Girl Hunt: Urban Nightlife and the Performance of Masculinity as Collective Activity". Men's Lives 8th Ed. New York: Allyn and Baron 2010.