Directions: Please answer all the questions below in a post on your blog, and be sure to label this post as Blog Post 15.
1) Which was the one assignment that was fun to do and why?
Talking about the worse date and relating it to "Whos Cheap and "The double binds of masculinity". It's fun relating past experiences to the readings we do because It makes them much easier to understand, was also fun listening to my classmates's stories.
2)What was the one assignment that made you learn about something? What was the "something" you learned?
Double Binds. I learned alot about what society expects out of men and how we need to find a balance between the gentleman and beast part of us. Though I still find it ironic how society pressures boys to stay away from girls until their teenage years, then pressure them to mix together.
3) What was the one assignment you did not care for? Why?
Does the first research paper count? Probably because I picked political based articles in a mens magazine, and then was told to use them for a paper related to masculinity. It's my fault for not seeing it coming..
4) Do you think, overall, Blogger was a useful tool for this class? In what ways?
Yes, it was an incredibly useful tool. Though truth be told, it did take some getting used too, coming right out of highschool I don't really expect teachers to check my work while I'm at home. But yes, it's a much more simplier way to get work done and have everything organized.
5) Describe a type of assignment or task that we did NOT do that you either did on your own, OR would have liked to have done, or a TYPE of assignment you would have liked to have done more of?
Actually, I started watching a few bromances, 40 Year Old Virgin, Role Models and it actually makes the reading more understable relating it too the films. Even though normally I don't like learning through film, I think that it would work wonders for a topic like this which focuses on our society and it's effects on us.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Final Draft. Research Paper #2
Dimitrios Tsoukalas
English 101.0800
Miss Bogacka
December 10 2010.
Men have been sharing homosocial bonds between themselves since the beginning of mankind. It's not uncommon to hear two men going out to spend the day fishing or watching a football game together. This bonding is common and we consider it normal. But mens homosocial bonds aren't only used to strengthen friendship between men, but through David Grazian's article "The Girl Hunt: Urban Nightlife and the Performance of Masculinity as Collective Activitiy", Micheal Flood's "Men, Sex and Mateship: How homosociality shapes men's heterosexual relations" and Scott Kiesling's article "Homosociality in Men's Talk: Balancing and Recreating Cultural discourses of Masculinity" it's seen that men's homosocial bonds are also used to create and strengthen their heterosexual bonds. Through the use of wingmen, a male needing an audience and the feeling of being a part of a group one can see all these promote homosocial bonds but indeed are what cause the heterosexual relationship to occur.
The process of having and being a wingman gives a man the opportunity to create a heterosexual bond. A wingman is someone who will cover another men when he wants to talk to a girl who isn't alone. To even have someone a man can trust to be his wingman, he needs to have homosocial bonds with other men to begin with. As Grazian says
"the wingman serves multiple purposes; he provides validation of a leading man's trustworthiness, eases the interaction between a single male friend and a larger group of women, serves as a source of distraction for the friend or friends of a more desireable target of affection, can be called on to confirm the wild claims of his partner, and perhaps the most important, helps motivate his friends by building up their confidence. "
Men need the assistance of other men in order to create their heterosexual bonds. In Grazian's article, in the ritual of "Girl Hunting" the men who assist, are known as the wingmen. A wingman's homosocial bonds with another man is what drives him to help that man, even if there is no direct reward for a wingman, most of them do it because they're helping a friend get a date; which is the masculine thing to do.
A man feels that the majority of his masculinity is based off of what "the boys" think, that includes heterosexual bonds. In Flood's article a young boy was asked of what does he enjoy the most, and that boy started explaining a very stereotypical masculine fantasy. But what stroke Flood as odd, was I thing the boy said at the end, " 'If the boys could see me now'. Thus, 'the boys' are the imagined audience for this man's sexual achievements, their collective male gaze informing the meaning of his sexual relations". This boy's heterosexual desire was fueled by what he thought would give him respect from the boys, it was based on the homosocial bonds he had formed with "the boys". Men's homosocial bonds determine what they consider as masculine. It's the people men hang around who make them who they are, their masculinity is based off them.
A man without other men to base his masculinity off of is hopeless, men strive to be homosocial and form groups with other men as Scott Fabius Kiesling's article explains. Men's masculinity though as shown in our society, isn't based off of homosocial bonds, but heterosexual bonds. "Homosociality is where we might find the male version of the female double bind: To be a man is to be powerful, and to be powerful in the current gender order, is in part, to be heterosexual. Affiliation can be equated with dependence, so homosociality is almost by definition not masculine." Even though men attempt to create homosocial bonds, our society tells us to go for the heterosexual bonds because it's considered more masculine. Which could be one of the reasons why adolscents and teenagers homosocial bonds are mostly about getting heterosexual bonds, as seen in Grazian's "The Girl Hunt", and Flood's article.
Masculinity in young men is unstable, and can be changed in many ways. With the help of homosocial bonds, a man is able to see what other men are like and turn himself into the man he wants to be. Homosocial bonds boost a man's confidence as well, and a man with a good amount of self confidence is able to have heterosexual relationships easier, feel masculine and be the kind of man he wants to be. Once a man is confident, theres nothing that can stop him.
Flood, Micheal. "Men Sex and Mateship: How homosociality shapes men's heterosexual relations". Feminisms : An international Woman's and Gender Studies Conference. University of Queensland. 12-16 July.
Grazian, David. "The Girl Hunt: Urban Nightlife and the Performance of Masculinity as Collective Activity". Men's Lives 8th Ed. Ed. Micheal Kimmel and Micheal S. Messner. New York" Allyn and Bacon 2010.
Kiesling, Scott. "Homosociality in Men's talk: Balancing and Recreating Cultural Discourses of Masculinity". University of Pittsburgh.
English 101.0800
Miss Bogacka
December 10 2010.
Men have been sharing homosocial bonds between themselves since the beginning of mankind. It's not uncommon to hear two men going out to spend the day fishing or watching a football game together. This bonding is common and we consider it normal. But mens homosocial bonds aren't only used to strengthen friendship between men, but through David Grazian's article "The Girl Hunt: Urban Nightlife and the Performance of Masculinity as Collective Activitiy", Micheal Flood's "Men, Sex and Mateship: How homosociality shapes men's heterosexual relations" and Scott Kiesling's article "Homosociality in Men's Talk: Balancing and Recreating Cultural discourses of Masculinity" it's seen that men's homosocial bonds are also used to create and strengthen their heterosexual bonds. Through the use of wingmen, a male needing an audience and the feeling of being a part of a group one can see all these promote homosocial bonds but indeed are what cause the heterosexual relationship to occur.
The process of having and being a wingman gives a man the opportunity to create a heterosexual bond. A wingman is someone who will cover another men when he wants to talk to a girl who isn't alone. To even have someone a man can trust to be his wingman, he needs to have homosocial bonds with other men to begin with. As Grazian says
"the wingman serves multiple purposes; he provides validation of a leading man's trustworthiness, eases the interaction between a single male friend and a larger group of women, serves as a source of distraction for the friend or friends of a more desireable target of affection, can be called on to confirm the wild claims of his partner, and perhaps the most important, helps motivate his friends by building up their confidence. "
Men need the assistance of other men in order to create their heterosexual bonds. In Grazian's article, in the ritual of "Girl Hunting" the men who assist, are known as the wingmen. A wingman's homosocial bonds with another man is what drives him to help that man, even if there is no direct reward for a wingman, most of them do it because they're helping a friend get a date; which is the masculine thing to do.
A man feels that the majority of his masculinity is based off of what "the boys" think, that includes heterosexual bonds. In Flood's article a young boy was asked of what does he enjoy the most, and that boy started explaining a very stereotypical masculine fantasy. But what stroke Flood as odd, was I thing the boy said at the end, " 'If the boys could see me now'. Thus, 'the boys' are the imagined audience for this man's sexual achievements, their collective male gaze informing the meaning of his sexual relations". This boy's heterosexual desire was fueled by what he thought would give him respect from the boys, it was based on the homosocial bonds he had formed with "the boys". Men's homosocial bonds determine what they consider as masculine. It's the people men hang around who make them who they are, their masculinity is based off them.
A man without other men to base his masculinity off of is hopeless, men strive to be homosocial and form groups with other men as Scott Fabius Kiesling's article explains. Men's masculinity though as shown in our society, isn't based off of homosocial bonds, but heterosexual bonds. "Homosociality is where we might find the male version of the female double bind: To be a man is to be powerful, and to be powerful in the current gender order, is in part, to be heterosexual. Affiliation can be equated with dependence, so homosociality is almost by definition not masculine." Even though men attempt to create homosocial bonds, our society tells us to go for the heterosexual bonds because it's considered more masculine. Which could be one of the reasons why adolscents and teenagers homosocial bonds are mostly about getting heterosexual bonds, as seen in Grazian's "The Girl Hunt", and Flood's article.
Masculinity in young men is unstable, and can be changed in many ways. With the help of homosocial bonds, a man is able to see what other men are like and turn himself into the man he wants to be. Homosocial bonds boost a man's confidence as well, and a man with a good amount of self confidence is able to have heterosexual relationships easier, feel masculine and be the kind of man he wants to be. Once a man is confident, theres nothing that can stop him.
Flood, Micheal. "Men Sex and Mateship: How homosociality shapes men's heterosexual relations". Feminisms : An international Woman's and Gender Studies Conference. University of Queensland. 12-16 July.
Grazian, David. "The Girl Hunt: Urban Nightlife and the Performance of Masculinity as Collective Activity". Men's Lives 8th Ed. Ed. Micheal Kimmel and Micheal S. Messner. New York" Allyn and Bacon 2010.
Kiesling, Scott. "Homosociality in Men's talk: Balancing and Recreating Cultural Discourses of Masculinity". University of Pittsburgh.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Rough First Draft: Research Paper #2
Dimitrios Tsoukalas
English 101.0800
Miss Bogacka
December 5 2010
Men have been sharing homosocial bonds since the beginning of man. It’s not uncommon
to hear two men going out to spend the day fishing or watch the football game together. This
bonding is common in our society and we consider it normal. But homosocial bonds don’t only
play the role of strengthening friendship between two men, but at the same time, it shapes their
masculinity and gives them the confidence to go after a woman. Since their masculinity is
ensured by bonding with another man, heterosexual bonds become much more easier to pursue.
Homosocial bonds between men is what creates and strengthens men’s heterosexual bonds.
Young men, who do not have a confident grasp on their masculinity yet, in order to prove
themselves, partake in a ritual called the girl hunt. This ritual involves all the men in their group
to try to get as many numbers from woman as possible in a social environment, such as a bar.
While the whole purpose of this may be to get the number of the women, half the time the whole
process isn’t even about the numbers. But rather to prove to themselves and their group that by getting these phone numbers they’re masculine. By sharing these homosocial bonds, men
become more confident, which results in better heterosexual bonds with this confidence. The
whole practice of wingmen during the girl hunt, the idea that a few of your friends are going to
help you get a girl, it’s an extreme boost to your masculinity. As well as strengthening the
homosocial bonds between them.
Men through the media are raised to believe differently though when it comes to
heterosocial bonds. A man who has a lot of homosocial bonds is considered masculine, while a man with a lot of heterosocial is considered to be on the boundary of homosexual. Also, in the
media’s definition of a real man, being homophobic is also considered masculine. The medias
definition of a man plays a big role on a few young men who have no homosocial bonds to
determine their own masculinity. Instead they attempt to take the medias masculinity which in
return is empty because it offers them no confidence. Masculinity without confidence is
pointless, because it is confidence that makes your masculinity. Homosocial bonds shape
confidence which is the key to the masculinity of a man as well as the key to
their heterosexual bonds which come later.
A man without confidence or the right sense of masculinity can’t become a right man,
example being Andy Stitzer from the 40 Year Old Virgin. This is a man who had his confidence
destroyed as a youth, but at the age of 40, told his friends about his problem and they all offered
to help. Through the homosocial bonds of these men trying to help a friend, Andy Stitzer turned
from a sexless man into a confident masculine man he was supposed to be. The homosocial
bonds by these men are what changed him, they boosted his confidence up to the part where they made him ask the woman out, start dating her, and finally, become sexual with her. Even a man who had reached the age of 40 and was not seen a man yet was able to regain his confidence and obtain his masculinity. Homosocial bonds can help any men’s masculinity. It also depends on
who the homosocial bonds are formed with and the person himself.
Masculinity in young men is unstable, and can be changed in many ways, though with the
help of homosocial bonds, a man confidence will rise, affecting his masculinity as well as his
heterosexual relationships, because just they fall along the same lines. If someone is a masculine
man, they’re confident about themselves. And once a man is confident, nothing can stop them.
Flood, Micheal. "Men, Sex and Mateship: How homosociality shapes men's heterosexual relations".. Feminisms: An international Women's and Gender Studies Conference. University of Queensland. 12-16 July
The 40 Year old Virgin Dir. Judd Apatow Pref. Steve Carell, Catherine Keener, Paul Rudd. Universal Pictures 2005.
Grazian, David. "The Girl Hunt: Urban Nightlife and the Performance of Masculinity as Collective Activity". Men's Lives 8th Ed. New York: Allyn and Baron 2010.
English 101.0800
Miss Bogacka
December 5 2010
Men have been sharing homosocial bonds since the beginning of man. It’s not uncommon
to hear two men going out to spend the day fishing or watch the football game together. This
bonding is common in our society and we consider it normal. But homosocial bonds don’t only
play the role of strengthening friendship between two men, but at the same time, it shapes their
masculinity and gives them the confidence to go after a woman. Since their masculinity is
ensured by bonding with another man, heterosexual bonds become much more easier to pursue.
Homosocial bonds between men is what creates and strengthens men’s heterosexual bonds.
Young men, who do not have a confident grasp on their masculinity yet, in order to prove
themselves, partake in a ritual called the girl hunt. This ritual involves all the men in their group
to try to get as many numbers from woman as possible in a social environment, such as a bar.
While the whole purpose of this may be to get the number of the women, half the time the whole
process isn’t even about the numbers. But rather to prove to themselves and their group that by getting these phone numbers they’re masculine. By sharing these homosocial bonds, men
become more confident, which results in better heterosexual bonds with this confidence. The
whole practice of wingmen during the girl hunt, the idea that a few of your friends are going to
help you get a girl, it’s an extreme boost to your masculinity. As well as strengthening the
homosocial bonds between them.
Men through the media are raised to believe differently though when it comes to
heterosocial bonds. A man who has a lot of homosocial bonds is considered masculine, while a man with a lot of heterosocial is considered to be on the boundary of homosexual. Also, in the
media’s definition of a real man, being homophobic is also considered masculine. The medias
definition of a man plays a big role on a few young men who have no homosocial bonds to
determine their own masculinity. Instead they attempt to take the medias masculinity which in
return is empty because it offers them no confidence. Masculinity without confidence is
pointless, because it is confidence that makes your masculinity. Homosocial bonds shape
confidence which is the key to the masculinity of a man as well as the key to
their heterosexual bonds which come later.
A man without confidence or the right sense of masculinity can’t become a right man,
example being Andy Stitzer from the 40 Year Old Virgin. This is a man who had his confidence
destroyed as a youth, but at the age of 40, told his friends about his problem and they all offered
to help. Through the homosocial bonds of these men trying to help a friend, Andy Stitzer turned
from a sexless man into a confident masculine man he was supposed to be. The homosocial
bonds by these men are what changed him, they boosted his confidence up to the part where they made him ask the woman out, start dating her, and finally, become sexual with her. Even a man who had reached the age of 40 and was not seen a man yet was able to regain his confidence and obtain his masculinity. Homosocial bonds can help any men’s masculinity. It also depends on
who the homosocial bonds are formed with and the person himself.
Masculinity in young men is unstable, and can be changed in many ways, though with the
help of homosocial bonds, a man confidence will rise, affecting his masculinity as well as his
heterosexual relationships, because just they fall along the same lines. If someone is a masculine
man, they’re confident about themselves. And once a man is confident, nothing can stop them.
Flood, Micheal. "Men, Sex and Mateship: How homosociality shapes men's heterosexual relations".. Feminisms: An international Women's and Gender Studies Conference. University of Queensland. 12-16 July
The 40 Year old Virgin Dir. Judd Apatow Pref. Steve Carell, Catherine Keener, Paul Rudd. Universal Pictures 2005.
Grazian, David. "The Girl Hunt: Urban Nightlife and the Performance of Masculinity as Collective Activity". Men's Lives 8th Ed. New York: Allyn and Baron 2010.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Preliminary Thesis and Annotated Bibliography for Research Paper #2
Dimitrios Tsoukalas
English 101.0800
Date: December 2 2010
Preliminary Thesis and Annotated Bibliography for Paper #2
Preliminary Thesis: Men need homosocial bonds with other men to be successful in their heterosexual relationships.
Grazian, David. "The Girl Hunt: Urban Nightlife and the Performance of Masculinity as Collective Activity". Men's Lives 8th Ed. New York: Allyn and Baron 2010.
In this article, Grazian describes about the nightlife ritual of girl hunting. He describes the importance of Girl Hunting to the masculinity of adolescent men as well as the importance to a group of men.
Grazian is a studied man with a PH.D in sociology. The source relates the Girl Hunt to how it strengthens homosocial bonds between men and can be used to objectify woman, making it easier for a man to approach them. Unlike the other two sources, this source focuses on the girl hunt. All of Grazian's claims are backed up with information from other sources and he is not biased in what he says.
Even though Grazian focuses on the ritual of girl hunting, he relates it to the strengthening of homosocial bonds. The entire ritual of girl hunting is to get girls, but Grazian claims that through this procedure, men strengthen their own bonds and masculinity of themselves. This article has proved to be that men need other men to get a girl sometimes, with the example of wingmen. Men strengthen their homosocial bonds in order for one of them to get a heterosexual bond.
Flood, Micheal. "Men, Sex and Mateship: How homosociality shapes men's heterosexual relations". Feminisms: An international Women's and Gender Studies Conference. University of Queensland. 12-16 July.
In this article, Dr Micheal Flood explains the homosocial relationships between man and relates them to mens heterosexual relationships. He also mentions that male to male relationships prioritize over male to female relationships.
The source does have a decent amount of research done, if only on one group of males. I believe it can still be applied for the majority of men. Also, it explains basically everything I am expecting from a source, answering my thesis directly. Though, because the research is done on one group, it could biased.
The source talks about men's relationships to each other, and because of these relationships, they are able to think of girls as objects, because they think of themselves as real men. It's made me think that men are more shallow then I initially thought. In the source, an example is given that these men pick their friends over a female, and are thought of as weak if they pick a heterosexual bond over their homosocial.
The 40 Year old Virgin Dir. Judd Apatow Pref. Steve Carell, Catherine Keener, Paul Rudd. Universal Pictures 2005.
This is a source which explains how a man who has given up on the sexual part of life, is influenced by his guy friends to try to get sexual again. With example it shows how homosocial bonds between men boost and create heterosexual bonds.
While this source might be a movie and the information not completely reliable, I think this source can be used as a good example though.
This movie's entire focus is making the 40 year old virgin, not a virgin. The way they do it though, is through homosocial bonding, the other men try to teach him and edge him to it. Which does work, cause he does end up in a sexual relationship with the woman he was after. But he wouldn't have done it without the support the men gave him.
English 101.0800
Date: December 2 2010
Preliminary Thesis and Annotated Bibliography for Paper #2
Preliminary Thesis: Men need homosocial bonds with other men to be successful in their heterosexual relationships.
Grazian, David. "The Girl Hunt: Urban Nightlife and the Performance of Masculinity as Collective Activity". Men's Lives 8th Ed. New York: Allyn and Baron 2010.
In this article, Grazian describes about the nightlife ritual of girl hunting. He describes the importance of Girl Hunting to the masculinity of adolescent men as well as the importance to a group of men.
Grazian is a studied man with a PH.D in sociology. The source relates the Girl Hunt to how it strengthens homosocial bonds between men and can be used to objectify woman, making it easier for a man to approach them. Unlike the other two sources, this source focuses on the girl hunt. All of Grazian's claims are backed up with information from other sources and he is not biased in what he says.
Even though Grazian focuses on the ritual of girl hunting, he relates it to the strengthening of homosocial bonds. The entire ritual of girl hunting is to get girls, but Grazian claims that through this procedure, men strengthen their own bonds and masculinity of themselves. This article has proved to be that men need other men to get a girl sometimes, with the example of wingmen. Men strengthen their homosocial bonds in order for one of them to get a heterosexual bond.
Flood, Micheal. "Men, Sex and Mateship: How homosociality shapes men's heterosexual relations". Feminisms: An international Women's and Gender Studies Conference. University of Queensland. 12-16 July.
In this article, Dr Micheal Flood explains the homosocial relationships between man and relates them to mens heterosexual relationships. He also mentions that male to male relationships prioritize over male to female relationships.
The source does have a decent amount of research done, if only on one group of males. I believe it can still be applied for the majority of men. Also, it explains basically everything I am expecting from a source, answering my thesis directly. Though, because the research is done on one group, it could biased.
The source talks about men's relationships to each other, and because of these relationships, they are able to think of girls as objects, because they think of themselves as real men. It's made me think that men are more shallow then I initially thought. In the source, an example is given that these men pick their friends over a female, and are thought of as weak if they pick a heterosexual bond over their homosocial.
The 40 Year old Virgin Dir. Judd Apatow Pref. Steve Carell, Catherine Keener, Paul Rudd. Universal Pictures 2005.
This is a source which explains how a man who has given up on the sexual part of life, is influenced by his guy friends to try to get sexual again. With example it shows how homosocial bonds between men boost and create heterosexual bonds.
While this source might be a movie and the information not completely reliable, I think this source can be used as a good example though.
This movie's entire focus is making the 40 year old virgin, not a virgin. The way they do it though, is through homosocial bonding, the other men try to teach him and edge him to it. Which does work, cause he does end up in a sexual relationship with the woman he was after. But he wouldn't have done it without the support the men gave him.
Part 1 Of Research Paper #2: Research Paper Proposal
Tsoukalas Dimitrios
English 101.0800
Date: December 2 2010
Part 1 Of Research Paper #2: Research Paper Proposal
For my paper I'm going to be talking about men's relationship to each other, agree with David Grazian's article, "The Girl Hunt: Urban Nightlife and the Performance of Masculinity as Collective Activity". Men need the help of other men to get woman, it's a boost to their confidence and to their masculinity if they succeed, also provides them with wingmen who can offer their assistance.
Men are known for going girl hunting as a group, at least after girls that they want to show off. Men have been raised to feel that by getting a girl, they can feel good about themselves, that they are successful at being a man; By doing it with a group of men, they feel like they become better men themselves if they succeed with the girl hunting. "In fact, the statistical rareness of the one-night stand may help explain why successful lotharios are granted such glorified status and prestige among their peers in the first place." (Connell and Messerschimidt 2005:851)
I shall do my research by looking online through google scholar,and the cuny library resource center. The sources I'm considering are mostly articles written about my topic, or any other paper done on it. The information I'm looking for is mostly an explanation about the relationship of heterosexual men with another. Also, if the bond of "Bro's" is stronger then the bond of male-female.
English 101.0800
Date: December 2 2010
Part 1 Of Research Paper #2: Research Paper Proposal
For my paper I'm going to be talking about men's relationship to each other, agree with David Grazian's article, "The Girl Hunt: Urban Nightlife and the Performance of Masculinity as Collective Activity". Men need the help of other men to get woman, it's a boost to their confidence and to their masculinity if they succeed, also provides them with wingmen who can offer their assistance.
Men are known for going girl hunting as a group, at least after girls that they want to show off. Men have been raised to feel that by getting a girl, they can feel good about themselves, that they are successful at being a man; By doing it with a group of men, they feel like they become better men themselves if they succeed with the girl hunting. "In fact, the statistical rareness of the one-night stand may help explain why successful lotharios are granted such glorified status and prestige among their peers in the first place." (Connell and Messerschimidt 2005:851)
I shall do my research by looking online through google scholar,and the cuny library resource center. The sources I'm considering are mostly articles written about my topic, or any other paper done on it. The information I'm looking for is mostly an explanation about the relationship of heterosexual men with another. Also, if the bond of "Bro's" is stronger then the bond of male-female.
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